WTF?

This was on the Simpsons tonight. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!

Is my daddy crazy?

So I am watching the wives with Julia and Ryan, and I decided to write a crazy complaint letter to Pepperidge Farms about one of their products. Here it is:

To whom it may concern:

On Sunday evening, I was sitting down to enjoy some of your delicious Seville Triple Chocolate Distinctive Cookies (you know, the ones from the new Chocolate Delight line) and the new episode of Desperate Housewives. You should see Felicity Huffman's new do! Anyhow upon opening the package of these scrumptious cookies, a struggle ensued .You can imagine my surprise that a Pepperidge Farms product turned out to give me any difficulty. The cookies are too large for the packaging causing the consumer to rip the packaging when accessing them. Make no mistake about it, I am not suggesting that you shrink the size of the cookie. Far from it! Maybe putting the cookies in packaging like your delightful Chocolate Chunk or Tahoe Cookies could alleviate this problem.

Thank You,
Erin Kennedy

Girls...GOOD AT MATH?

Last night was hilarious! I didn't go out (not too shocking when the only gay bar in town is in a strip mall), but I had a fabulous time relaxing with my homies. The Best of TV Funhouse was on SNL and it was great. (Sidenote: Dear KOMU, Please get your shit together when it comes to broadcasts from the network. Stop cutting off portions of your programming. Thanks.)

I ended up taking Tickle quizzes afterward (I know, I am always the last to catch on to these things in the Intranets). I took three. The first one said that I had great verbal abilities. The second told me that I could communicate with animals. The third was perhaps the most surprising, it told me that I was the most intelligent in logic math. I have never had strong inclinations to take a lot of math classes in college and in high school I hated the ones that I had to take. Then it really made me think about all of the issues in education (at least when I was in the public educational system) about gender bias in math and the sciences. All of my high school math teachers were sports coaches and maybe, just maybe, my dislike of math is connected with my abhorration of most sports. Doubtful, but still an interesting thought. The funny thing is...is that when I started taking courses in Statistics, I realized that I was quite good at it. It was a strange adjustment to make after usually being at the bottom in math. I was never one of the "high achievers" anyhow. Test-wise, I was , but grade-wise, I was kind of a fuck up. Certainly, I don't blame math teachers on my lack of interest in math, but perhaps if their approach to teaching math was different, maybe many students (especially women) could learn to appreciate it more. Is it really acceptable that many women (and I am speculating based on conversations with others) realize that math is one of their intellectual interests so late in their educational processes? I guess I could ask that education grad student in my African lit. class. Oh wait! She thought that the country of Nigeria was in the country of South Africa. In defense of education people, there are some really smart people who go into teaching. Looking at many of the people who are going to teach high school now...my experience in public education suddenly makes sense.
Honestly, I am considering a career in higher education (provided they will take me) but that is because I have (a probably unhealthy) obsession with Sociology (the theoretical frameworks of Dorothy Smith to be exact) and I like to push it on everyone. I am like a drug pusher, but for Sociology.

A Picture of Dorian Gray

Greetings! Last night was my birthday jamboree. Thank you to everyone who made it a smashing evening. Dinner at Trattoria was fabulous!

Oh fuck, it's getting close to finals week. I have so much shit due before then...I will probably be holed up for the next few weeks.

I got a new cell phone, finally, after breaking my old one three times. This time there was no fixing it which it good because I hated that phone. The lady at the cell phone place did some kind of demonstration that proved that it will be pretty hard to break this one, but we will see if it can stand up. The manager of the cell phone place made some hilarious but well intentioned comments. In a nutshell, he told Julia and I that we probably thought we were nerds because we wore glasses, but we shouldn't think that because we are beautiful girls. This would be the second time within a two day period that an older gentleman has commented on my appearance. The first being in the context of a job interview. This one is a bit more inappropriate.
First he asked me why I like Sociology. Then he proceeded to tell me that there was no money in that and I should be a nurse. After that he told me that I was an attractive young lady. All I could think was What the fuck, is this 1975? AND THEN he would not stop talking about his office supplies cabinent. Needless to say I won't be taking that job! And so the search continues.

Question: Who wears short shorts?

Check it

I watched this tonight... and homosexuals are destroying the culture?

Why are we encouraging this?

I'm gonna sit at the welcome table....

Hello! Nice to meet you. I am going to let you in on a little secret. Well...it's not really a secret, but seeing as how we just met: yes, I, Erin Kennedy author of "I'm blogging! Like Gangbusters!" am a lesbian. I don't really prefer that label, but I use it mainly because it is the term that best describes a certain component of me. Now that you all know the "shockin truth" (cue R. Kelly's epic Trapped in the Closet) you are probably asking yourselves, "What insights does she have into the gay community?" Good question! All of this Pride Month razza-ma-tazz has got me thinking. Why do I not have lesbian friends? Aside from the fact that I dislike Ani DiFranco and the scent of patchouli, I never meet other lesbians who share my interests. I guess I am not particularly interesting by comparison to others. For starters, I am white, middle class, and I move through the "mainstream" culture with relative ease. I like clothes (from stores), I have career aspirations that don't involve the words "community activist" or "free-gan," and I spend an ample amount of time in the bathroom tending to my hair and makeup. I have tons of straight and bisexual friends who are some of the best anyone could ever have, and I am up to my neck in gay men. What, then, is it about me that prevents me from finding and maintaining friendships with other lesbians? Is it as simple as changing my status on the Facebook?

Perhaps I am lying in my "I refuse to unite around a specifically constructed identity" bed that I made. Or maybe it is because I am not a huge fan of gay marriage. Make no mistake, I will support and defend any queer person's right to marry, but the whole hetero model is not really for me. Too bad the state grants benefits based on that model. Am I a queer contrarian? Hopefully I am not turning into the lady Andrew Sullivan.

This is from one of my classes- "I think Margaret Sanger was into eugenics for the right reasons"

Ramble On

So it is Sunday and I am supposed to be working on two different papers, but what am I doing instead? I am downloading music from iTunes. I can't stop listening to Kate Bush (am I turning into a whiny teenager again?) The big Earth Day jamboree is today, but I don' t think I can justify going. I am so ready for this semester to be over (except my readings course, that shit is fun). I guess I am getting senioritis or the clap, the symptoms are often confused.

Jodie and I are moving into the house on West Blvd soon. We are having a housewarming party, but I am not sure of the date, so I will keep you all posted.

The Natalie Portman SNL was on last night. It was one of the best of the season so far, especially the rap. I hope they get rid of that "nooney" skit really soon because it is fucking terrible.

I saw Silent Hill over the weekend. I had such expectations for the movie, and it was a major disappointment. Not to mention there was a mild lesbian theme that was crushed by what sort of looked like a hate crime. The audience, however, was amusing. Mortal Kombat is still the best film based on a video game. I highly recommend acquiring the soundtrack!

Well that was most of my weekend. Oh yeah, shout out Bryan Clinton for being a smooth motherfucker.

America's Next Top Girl-tard

So it finally dawned on me! Tyra Banks is a robot. I don't mean this in the "she is a ridiculously made-up fembot." This woman is an honest to god robot. Watch her show on Oxygen. I dare you- for at least fifteen minutes. The way her side of the conversation is so disconnected from what is actually happening, it is as though she has a limited memory that contains certain cliches or personal anecdotes. She gave makeovers, not counseling, to domestic violence victims! Also watch her strange eye contact and stilted movements. All of this can only add up to one thing, she is an effing robot (or pod person at the very least).

Hello motherfucker it's nice to meet ya
I drop delicious beats like pepperoni pizza

Want to waste some time?

TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey
Name:	Erin Kennedy
Birthday:	04/28/1982
Birthplace:	Shreveport, LA
Current Location:	Columbia, MO
Eye Color:	Green
Hair Color:	light brown
Height:	5'8
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Left
Your Heritage:	German/Irish
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Turquoise Pumas
Your Weakness:	hemlock
Your Fears:	hemlock
Your Perfect Pizza:	Veggie
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	graduate Mizzou
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	LOL!
Thoughts First Waking Up:	Oh shit I have a Spanish test today
Your Best Physical Feature:	my eyes
Your Bedtime:	1:00 am
Your Most Missed Memory:	driving on country roads with Michael
Pepsi or Coke:	Pepsi
MacDonalds or Burger King:	McDonalds
Single or Group Dates:	Depends
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Depends
Do you Smoke:	yes
Do you Swear:	of course
Do you Sing:	in the car
Do you Shower Daily:	yes
Have you Been in Love:	yes
Do you want to go to College:	already been
Do you want to get Married:	not really
Do you belive in yourself:	sometimes
Do you get Motion Sickness:	yes
Do you think you are Attractive:	depends
Are you a Health Freak:	no
Do you like Thunderstorms:	yes
Do you play an Instrument:	yes
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	yes
In the past month have you Smoked:	yes
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	yes
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	yes
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	yes
In the past month have you been on Stage:	no
In the past month have you been Dumped:	no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	no
Ever been Drunk:	yes
Ever been called a Tease:	yes
Ever been Beaten up:	yes
Ever Shoplifted:	yes
How do you want to Die:	In my sleep and beautifully
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	a professor
What country would you most like to Visit:	Japan
In a Boy...
Favourite Eye Color:	Green
Favourite Hair Color:	dark
Short or Long Hair:	shaggy
Height:	5'9
Weight:	118
Best Clothing Style:	skin tight
Number of Drugs I have taken:	6?
Number of CDs I own:	300
Number of Piercings:	2
Number of Tattoos:	0
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	3
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

Butterfly Tears

Last night I listened to Terence Trent D'Arby and I highly recommend that everyone who reads this download (legally, of course) "Wishing Well." That song is amazing, especially when the Casio kicks in. The memories came flooding back!

I recently read the book Sexing the Body. Anne Fausto Sterling is a fucking genius! I want to have her babies...(just kidding, I don't find her all that attractive). The whole thing is about intersex people and how they expose our ridiculous gender/sex system. In your face heterosexual patriarchy! I would write more but the Simpsons are on.

Check ya later, Jesus

The day is finally here...

Dear Friends and Sworn Mortal Enemies,

You can finally stop hassling me about starting a blog, for the day has finally come. Prepare to have your minds blown! Just so you know what I am about, here is something I wrote awhile back. Enjoy!

To whom it may concern:

It has come to my attention that a there is a great phenonmenon that goes by the name of global warming. This trend is a foe of the fur industry. Did you know that fine fur sales have decreased twenty percent in the past fifteen years? I say that this is no coincidence but in fact there is some correlation between the increase in so-called "global warming" and the decline in fur sales. I am sure your reaction is one of outrage. Your first question is probably "what action can I take to solve this ever growing societal problem?" Can there really be a solution? Well, absolutely! Ignore the problem. Pretend global warming is not occurring! Wear beautiful furs no matter what the weather or occasion: summer weddings, a sunny day in Belize, or how about the local airshow? In the latter instance you can show your support for the troops and fur. I am sure you have heard all of the arguments from liberal whackos from PETA. "Fur is cruel!" "Fur is unnecessary!" This is what they shout from their protest rallies, abortion clinics and secret homosexual hash bars. Rubbish I say, absolute rubish. I guess these so called "patriots" don't support the fur trapper and the interests of the common working man. We should rise against this liberal (or rather LIEberal) propaganda machine to enjoy our god given right to wear beautiful furs. We can obviously attribute the decline in fur sales to the invention of global warming and the liberal left-wing media. Get with the program! There is no such thing as global warming, so please go and enjoy your furs and the weather!