The series finale of "Friends" left me with a lot of unanswered questions...

Today was my last day of being an undergraduate. About fucking time you say? I concur, but you're an asshole. Anyhow, I am not doing any of the commencement ceremony jazz so I thought I would post a video that sums up my time at Mizzou:

It's Go Go not Cry Cry

Well, I guess since I haven't posted in nearly two and a half months, I thought I should give some updates.

-I turned twenty-five last weekend. Thanks to everyone who made it an awesome day.

-Apparently, I am too sexy for Teach for America.

-I am graduating next week, with my spine in tact. I must say, that I am doing so with mixed feelings. Certainly, I have learned who my friends are and people to avoid. Lessons well learned, I suppose.

-This isn't really about me or anything, but Claire got a hilarious message via Facebook. Since she doesn't have a Blog, I am going to post it on mine. Apparently, this guy cornered Claire at the ACT and preached to her about about Vatican II. Then he told her that his father really wanted him to get married soon. I guess he is on to something with this Facebook thing. Do I smell a marriage proposal? Oh yeah, and she took cotillion classes with him.

Hey Claire!

You and I went to Kirkwood Summer Camp the summer before 6th grade and then I got to see you a couple years later at that dancing lessons thing. I'm sure you remember.... It's me, Ryan!

How have you been these past 5 years or so (I think the last time we talked was right before and after we took the SAT in 03 or 04).

I remember you gave me your email address after the SAT but, due to unforeseen circumstances at that time, i dunno, but I lost it. I've been thinking about how you've been over these years, however, hoping that they have been fun and good for you.

So, then I heard about this facebook thing and when I found it that it was pretty much similar to classmates.com or hi5, yet it was free and a whole lot better, I had to join. I've been able to reconnect with some old friends and so now I am able to connect with you. GREAAAT!

Well, I have been going to college at St. Mary's College and working on my Education Major. What have you been up to over these past years? And is that your car?

Hope to hear from you when you get a chance and hope all is well.
If you want you give me a ring at XXXXXXX TTyl!

-Hell yeah, they're playing motherfuckin' Foghat on America's Funniest Home Videos...check ya'll later

BUSTED!

I guess you still read my blog. Hiding your shameless social climbing activities from me doesn't mean that you aren't doing it. Pathetic.

The conflated relationship between visibility and tolerance.

This article appeared in the New York Times today.

I think it is interesting that this is just now being addressed given the increase in gay and lesbian media representation in the last ten years. Remember when "lesbian chic" was supposed to usher in a new era of tolerance? Metrosexuals anyone?

Would people still watch gay people on television if it portrayed what actually demarcated gay from straight?

Oh and I will not eat Snickers anymore. Who greenlighted such homophobic and sexist advertising?

Clearly, the end is near

This has to been the most eventful week that I have experienced in a long time. I am not referring to typical banal interpersonal drama. Here are the highlights:

-Tuesday my girl, Julia, called to tell me somebody hacked into her email account and sent some messages to Jon from said account. Interwebs stalking? Me thinks so.

-Explosions in Kansas City. When I was a child, there was a large explosion in KC. It was at a construction site and six firefighters were killed. My mother and I were living in Independence with my grandparents at the time. I remember waking up in the middle of the night and hearing everything glass in the house. I went to stand in the kitchen and I was knocked to the floor by the vibrations. I thought that Jesus was returning. I think I was five or six.

-Yesterday, Jodie discovered that our garage door was open. Neither one of us opened it. She called our management company. They sent a man to investigate. It turns out that somebody has been digging a hole in our basement. A really fucking big hole, complete with a giant axe in the ground next to it. I don't know who is doing it or why, but secret digging is never done with the best intentions.

Ahhh, a week of explosions and mystery!

Sad.

R.I.P. Molly Ivins.

Some housekeeping....

Okay, so I didn't ever want to do this but I have reached my limit. If you still read this, you will most definitely know who you are. I will exclude your name from the post...I suppose that is chicken-shit of me in an attempt to spare your feelings. But here goes:

You need to find your own interests, friends, and personality. It is rather sad and pathetic how you parade around with this new "you" that is exactly like me over the summer. Some might say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but honestly, this is fucking creepy. I kept quiet when I saw you gradually having more and more friends in common with me on Facebook after we broke up AND I kept quiet when I saw you messaging my ROOMMATE and becoming her Facebook friend several months after we broke up. But participating in Mizzou events in which I would most likely participate? Christ, you don't even go to school here...let alone have the ability to write a monologue!

I have done my best to actively avoid you, which has meant giving up everything I used to do (since you began frequenting every establishment I did over the summer). Really, its fine because those were single-people things and I am happily involved, however, it is still obnoxious. Also, there is a code about fucking the person that was your ex-girlfriend's rebound from you...usually it isn't a good idea.

I don't hate you, think badly of you, or wish any ill fortune on you. All I really want is for you to recognize some basic boundaries of social interaction. Think about the spaces that were so clearly ones where I was independent of you. The ones I had when I was escaping you. You need to find yourself, not me.

What the hell is wrong with you, America?

I read this article in the Times today. If you are too lazy to click on the link then here is some motivation:

"Even when they are on vacation, the Schneider family seeks out the nearest Costco to gas up their rental car, grab a familiar lunch and browse for local specialties to bring back home. They have bought cases of chocolate-covered macadamia nuts from a Costco in Hawaii, gallon-sized salsa in Tucson, Ariz., and a crate of ruby red grapefruits in Marina del Rey, Calif."

Who does this? I like "things," but seriously, this is out of hand, America. It is unsettling that people can buy food and television in the same location. Shame on you membership fee driven discount warehouses.