I'm blogging! Like Gangbusters!

The series finale of "Friends" left me with a lot of unanswered questions...

2007-05-10T16:04:00.000-07:00

Today was my last day of being an undergraduate. About fucking time you say? I concur, but you're an asshole. Anyhow, I am not doing any of the commencement ceremony jazz so I thought I would post a video that sums up my time at Mizzou:

It's Go Go not Cry Cry

2007-05-02T21:48:00.000-07:00

Well, I guess since I haven't posted in nearly two and a half months, I thought I should give some updates.

-I turned twenty-five last weekend. Thanks to everyone who made it an awesome day.

-Apparently, I am too sexy for Teach for America.

-I am graduating next week, with my spine in tact. I must say, that I am doing so with mixed feelings. Certainly, I have learned who my friends are and people to avoid. Lessons well learned, I suppose.

-This isn't really about me or anything, but Claire got a hilarious message via Facebook. Since she doesn't have a Blog, I am going to post it on mine. Apparently, this guy cornered Claire at the ACT and preached to her about about Vatican II. Then he told her that his father really wanted him to get married soon. I guess he is on to something with this Facebook thing. Do I smell a marriage proposal? Oh yeah, and she took cotillion classes with him.

Hey Claire!

You and I went to Kirkwood Summer Camp the summer before 6th grade and then I got to see you a couple years later at that dancing lessons thing. I'm sure you remember.... It's me, Ryan!

How have you been these past 5 years or so (I think the last time we talked was right before and after we took the SAT in 03 or 04).

I remember you gave me your email address after the SAT but, due to unforeseen circumstances at that time, i dunno, but I lost it. I've been thinking about how you've been over these years, however, hoping that they have been fun and good for you.

So, then I heard about this facebook thing and when I found it that it was pretty much similar to classmates.com or hi5, yet it was free and a whole lot better, I had to join. I've been able to reconnect with some old friends and so now I am able to connect with you. GREAAAT!

Well, I have been going to college at St. Mary's College and working on my Education Major. What have you been up to over these past years? And is that your car?

Hope to hear from you when you get a chance and hope all is well.
If you want you give me a ring at XXXXXXX TTyl!

-Hell yeah, they're playing motherfuckin' Foghat on America's Funniest Home Videos...check ya'll later

BUSTED!

2007-02-19T09:49:00.000-08:00

I guess you still read my blog. Hiding your shameless social climbing activities from me doesn't mean that you aren't doing it. Pathetic.

The conflated relationship between visibility and tolerance.

2007-02-19T09:13:00.000-08:00

This article appeared in the New York Times today.

I think it is interesting that this is just now being addressed given the increase in gay and lesbian media representation in the last ten years. Remember when "lesbian chic" was supposed to usher in a new era of tolerance? Metrosexuals anyone?

Would people still watch gay people on television if it portrayed what actually demarcated gay from straight?

Oh and I will not eat Snickers anymore. Who greenlighted such homophobic and sexist advertising?

Clearly, the end is near

2007-02-08T10:07:00.000-08:00

This has to been the most eventful week that I have experienced in a long time. I am not referring to typical banal interpersonal drama. Here are the highlights:

-Tuesday my girl, Julia, called to tell me somebody hacked into her email account and sent some messages to Jon from said account. Interwebs stalking? Me thinks so.

-Explosions in Kansas City. When I was a child, there was a large explosion in KC. It was at a construction site and six firefighters were killed. My mother and I were living in Independence with my grandparents at the time. I remember waking up in the middle of the night and hearing everything glass in the house. I went to stand in the kitchen and I was knocked to the floor by the vibrations. I thought that Jesus was returning. I think I was five or six.

-Yesterday, Jodie discovered that our garage door was open. Neither one of us opened it. She called our management company. They sent a man to investigate. It turns out that somebody has been digging a hole in our basement. A really fucking big hole, complete with a giant axe in the ground next to it. I don't know who is doing it or why, but secret digging is never done with the best intentions.

Ahhh, a week of explosions and mystery!

Sad.

2007-02-01T23:59:00.000-08:00

R.I.P. Molly Ivins.

Some housekeeping....

2007-01-31T23:29:00.000-08:00

Okay, so I didn't ever want to do this but I have reached my limit. If you still read this, you will most definitely know who you are. I will exclude your name from the post...I suppose that is chicken-shit of me in an attempt to spare your feelings. But here goes:

You need to find your own interests, friends, and personality. It is rather sad and pathetic how you parade around with this new "you" that is exactly like me over the summer. Some might say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery, but honestly, this is fucking creepy. I kept quiet when I saw you gradually having more and more friends in common with me on Facebook after we broke up AND I kept quiet when I saw you messaging my ROOMMATE and becoming her Facebook friend several months after we broke up. But participating in Mizzou events in which I would most likely participate? Christ, you don't even go to school here...let alone have the ability to write a monologue!

I have done my best to actively avoid you, which has meant giving up everything I used to do (since you began frequenting every establishment I did over the summer). Really, its fine because those were single-people things and I am happily involved, however, it is still obnoxious. Also, there is a code about fucking the person that was your ex-girlfriend's rebound from you...usually it isn't a good idea.

I don't hate you, think badly of you, or wish any ill fortune on you. All I really want is for you to recognize some basic boundaries of social interaction. Think about the spaces that were so clearly ones where I was independent of you. The ones I had when I was escaping you. You need to find yourself, not me.

What the hell is wrong with you, America?

2007-01-29T21:38:00.000-08:00

I read this article in the Times today. If you are too lazy to click on the link then here is some motivation:

"Even when they are on vacation, the Schneider family seeks out the nearest Costco to gas up their rental car, grab a familiar lunch and browse for local specialties to bring back home. They have bought cases of chocolate-covered macadamia nuts from a Costco in Hawaii, gallon-sized salsa in Tucson, Ariz., and a crate of ruby red grapefruits in Marina del Rey, Calif."

Who does this? I like "things," but seriously, this is out of hand, America. It is unsettling that people can buy food and television in the same location. Shame on you membership fee driven discount warehouses.

This is the song I want played at my funeral

2007-01-22T12:43:00.001-08:00

Rip it up!

New Blog!

2007-01-22T12:34:00.000-08:00

I'm Blogging! Like Gangbusters! has changed. I did the blog links on the side from memory, so if I forgot you let me know.

i love this town

2007-01-15T18:55:00.000-08:00

Today, I ventured out into the icy streets to do a bit of shopping. I purchased a pair of large headphones, composition notebooks, and pens. More importantly, here was the scene I witnessed in the school supplies aisle at the old Super Wal*Mart:
A young grandmother yelling at her four ill-behaved grandchildren while eating out of a giant bucket of fried chicken. I believe she was on one of the legs when I saw her.

First day of classes tomorrow!

First Post of '07...God I'm Lazy

2007-01-14T21:13:00.000-08:00

After a long hiatus, I have decided to return to blogging! Like Gangbusters!

I am entering my last semester at Mizzou. Time to make some actual decisions, I suppose. I know I want to go to grad school, but I think I should take some time to pursue all of my funding options. Hopefully, I will be able to find a job with the University in the meantime.

The break from school was on fire. I got to hang out with my boys and family. Scoville, Michael and I went to Missie B's in Kansas City AND IT WAS KARAOKE NIGHT! In my drunken state, I got up and sang "Total Eclipse of the Heart." I was rooted by several gay men holding lighters and the shirtless "cowboy" who ran the karaoke machine joined in. It was a night of magic!

I went to St. Louis with Claire and met her parents and little sister. I was pretty nervous considering I had never really thought of myself as the type you bring home.Ah...times they are a changing I guess (sorry about the cliche). I also met her friends from home at a Thai restaurant called the King and I. The food was outstanding. The second night we went to Claire's best friend, Michelle's sushi party. The food and company were both exceptional.

The next night we had dinner with her parents, sister, and brother. Oh, Paul. We were treated to stories about homemade kefir giving him euphoric highs and smoking sage. He was generous enough to open up his home to us to watch Talledega Nights and show us his homemade mushroom tea!

Also it was the fete de roi, a French holiday celebrating the arrival of the kings at Jesus' birth. Claire, her mother and I made a gallette to mark the occasion. Her father deemed it "alright."
He found the little figurine in the cake, so he was king for a day.

I came back to Columbia and exchanged gifts with my homegurl Julia. You'll never guess what I got! A BEDAZZLER! If you want your intitials on a the back of your jeans, let me know I can hook you up. I can Bedazzle ANYTHING! ANYTHING you want! On the car ride to Addison's, Julia, Jon, Claire and I listened to the new Thermals CD. I love it! Thanks Jon and Julia!

Claire and I headed to KC shortly after to hang out with my mom, Jerry, and Austin. We mostly shopped and drove around the city. I took Claire to the Nelson...can't wait for those underground galleries to open. Moms treated us to a delicious lunch at Andre's! I love their tasty little confections.

We also went to Legends, the overwhelmingly large shopping center in Kansas. I got a new pair of kicks at the Converse store for $20! They are distressed slip-ons. Sadly, they didn't have the yellow hi-tops I have been seeking for months. We were hungry after shoe shopping for two hours, so we went to a dinosaur themed resataurant called T-Rex. Jodie met us there and we were the only table without young children. Claire was in dinosaur heaven. Mmmm overpriced meals and screaming kids...a dream of dreams.

I am glad to be back in Columbia, in spite of the ice storm.

I am nervous about the new semester. It is my last, but I feel like I am losing my edge or something. I feel less creative, jaded, and a bit like I am going to fall on my face. I probably just need to get back into the swing of things.

My New Year's resolution: Quit freebasing.

If this turns into the Donner Party, I'm gonna be pissed!

2006-12-01T13:50:00.000-08:00

I woke up this morning and this is what I saw:

Claire and I are completely snowed in! I was going to take pictures of my car buried in snow, but that would have involved stepping out of the house into the actual snow. Fuck that! Classes were cancelled, which is awesome because I had a paper due today that I didn't finish. No school or work!

This is what we are doing:

In other belated news, I went to Blue Springs for Thanksgiving last week. I hung out with my moms, Jerry, and my little brother. He is pretty funny. Here he is washing a Turkey:

In case you couldn't tell from his facial expression, he is pretty fucking hilarious. Here is a story he wrote for his second grade class:

"Do you want to hear about my scarecrow? First he found a frog that threw up a radio. Next there was a CD in it. It was Nickelback. Then my scarecrow started to dance. And then he went to the store to buy a Pepsi. Last he danced while drinking Pepsi. Did you like my story?"

Genius! Nickelback, Pepsi, dancing...all compelling topics for a story.

Also, go pick up a copy of the Advocate. John Stamos is on the cover, but more importantly, I am on page 42, lookin' sassy and all. I will put a scanned copy up later, but I have to wait to use my girl, Julia's, scanner...or I will rig one out of all of the old newpapers in my basement. Speaking of basements, mine is filled with standing water. Hawthorne, my slumlords, has yet to do anything about it, and has been like that all week! Nice!

Well, I guess I am off to go eat some of this since the snow is so bad:

I VOTED

2006-11-07T14:29:00.000-08:00

I went to vote today, and I hope all of you people did as well.

Too tired and cranky to think of anything else to write.

Damn ya'll, I haven't blogged in awhile....

2006-11-06T12:36:00.000-08:00

Hello friends and sworn mortal enemies. It has been far too long. Please, take off your coat and enjoy the warm respite of this blogpost. Here is an update of what has been happening:

1) I have pulled back a bit from the Brady stuff. I am not quitting, per se, I am just having a smaller role for a bit because it is getting really close to grad school application time. Also, I had two midterms returned to me with B's. Not to sound like a whiny baby, but that is completely unacceptable to me. I need to buckle down and reorient my priorities.

2) Halloween weekend was off tha chain people. Claire and I met up with Jewelia and Jon at Ye Olde Eastside Tavern for a kickass Black Sabbath Cover Show, complete with the owner, Sal, standing on an upside down cross.

Not a very good pic of the show, but it was the best I could do at the time.

3) I am in love. I have met someone who makes me so completely happy and actually reads...BOOKS...and TALKS ABOUT THEM! Also, she is a fantastic companion. I am so fucking lucky (not to sound like the lezzies who makeout in my Trans Studies class).

4) This weekend was pretty awesome. Friday night, Claire and I met Julia, Jon, Erik, and the Minotaur at Teller's. A good time was had, but we were on the move. Claire, Erik, and I went to an East Campus party. I realized that I am too fucking old for those. We met up with Jess, Claire's roommate, Rachel, and Sarah. I ran into Paul Lampe, who had people over on Saturday. I got to see Patrick, and so the Great Gay Couple was briefly reunited for the evening. I kind of miss him, but things change, I suppose.

5) Finally, I am going to go on a rant. This is an open message to the pseudo enlightened conservative girl who thinks I am scary and mean. You don't know me. You don't know anything about me other than what your manipulative friend told you. You told somebody that you made that judgment of me based on the way I look. Is it because I don't look like you and your friends? Is it because my appearance is not done for the purpose of landing a good Southern (*cough* racist and patriarchal *cough*) "gentleman." I am a feminist lesbian (not to be confused with lesbian feminist) and guess what? That is not going to change and I am not going anywhere. I know homophobia when I see it, most queer people do. You are not masking it well. Am I scary because I am a big "femin-nazi Dyke" to you? Oh, and also, believe it or not, not all women who are attracted to women are attracted to you. I saw the comments on your Facebook pictures and found them to be utterly reprehensible. Just because you have gay and lesbian friends does not mean that you are not homophobic. You have to recognize that this means that eventually, your GLBT friends will be in relationships with other men or as in this case other women. Sometimes those relationships are public. The last relationship your friend was in (the one that you are using as a basis of judgment against me) was so fucking damaging. The fact that it wasn't even acknowledged by her friends because she had to hide at her girlfriend's behest...What do you think that it did to her as a person? The fact that you still refer to it simply as a "good friendship" implies that you make no effort to view it as an actual romantic relationship (you know, one with the possibility of sexual activity...And trust me, women do that). It is not necessarily the physically violent homophobia that is so damaging in this case, but you inflict a more sophisticated brand of violence. How dare you tell my girlfriend that she is of low moral character. And how dare you use your pious standards to judge our relationship. Maybe you should get to know me. I am pretty fucking awesome. If not, it is really not a big deal, I just want you to stop making someone I care about feel so bad.

"We made love like a pair of black wizards. You freed me from the past. You fucked the suburbs out of me"

2006-10-19T15:53:00.000-07:00

Happy early Halloween, "ladies."

Hear ye! Hear ye! Delicious News!

2006-10-19T15:18:00.000-07:00

Thanks to Julia, I had a delicious encounter today: TROPICAL NERD ROPE! If original Nerd Rope is the t-shirt and jeans of the Nerd Rope Candy World, then this new flavor is the fine fur that you would use to dress up such a standard outfit.

P.S. Dear Nerd Ropes c/o of Wonka Candy,

I found a human finger in my last Nerd Rope. Please send me a case of them. Fingers not Nerd Ropes. Tropical Flavor if you can spare them.

2006-10-13T15:03:00.000-07:00

I love Halloween! You know why? Well sit down. Are you sitting? Good! Anyhow, the on-demand on the cable has an excellent selection of B-horror films. Right now, Jodie and I are watching The Possessed.

Here are the characters so far:

Some chick who looks like Traci Lords: lead singer of the ghost band
Lance Bass with fetal alcohol syndrome: a studio exec.
A chick who probably cuts herself on and off camera: New lead singer of Ghost Band
A guy in a shirt with a hamburger shirt that says "Eat Me": Himself
D-Bag in a visor: The bassist
Christopher Lloyd's surgically separated siamese twin: a travelling wizard
Pretty boy Nick Cave: a guy who pretends to use a mixer
Some blonde chick: some blonde chick who likes to fuck guys in bands

Plus we have been treated to a bunch of butt rock. I hope everyone dies in the end. This band makes me want to stop listening to music.

Look at this faggat!

CRA-ZY

2006-10-08T16:45:00.000-07:00

This week has been insane. Something that I thought was going to be a small project has blown up. I don't really know if I am comfortable with this. My name being known has put intense pressure on me. Too many phone calls, emails and blog posts. It is fucking overwhelming. I am exhausted. I don't know if I can do it anymore.

I am ready to leave. To move on. I can hardly stand the midwest's culture of civility. Columbia is not my home. Maybe I will change my mind next week.

So it has come to this...

2006-09-19T22:49:00.000-07:00

Here I sit. Procrastinating on a paper, watching a new talent show on MTV. It is, basically, a show where a bunch of moderately attractive people vie for a spot at being the most "talented." The problem is this: these people only seem to have a talent for attracting attention to themselves for being unbelievably obnoxious. These shows seem to be increasing in numbers on television, or at least portions of talent competitions are able to attract viewers by showcasing contestants with little talent.
Why is this such a phenomenon in entertainment right now? So many of us, myself included, know it's bad, yet we can't look away? Is this the Napoleon Dynamite generation? Last week, there was an op-ed piece in the New York Times lampooning the coveted "youthful" demographic and how advertisers want to lock buyers into purchasing habits as early as possible. It is interesting, then, that a demographic of people who found Napoleon Dynamite so funny, (and trust me, many were laughing at Napoleon, not with him) are the same people being marketed to through programs that have premises built around poking fun at the weakest members of a competition. I suppose this might be somewhat more reflective of a culture built on the inequality of competition.

But this is supposed to be the hybrid car buying, everything organic generation? Clearly Toyota and General Mills have figured out a way to cleverly package and market these hippie ideals. Meanwhile, we have an entire genre of television that runs simultaneous to these advertisements, holding no-talent competitors in high regard. This might be great if the whole postmodern thing really took hold, but there is one problem: a lot of people missed the joke. America isn't laughing with you, they're laughing at you as a form of escapism. I would love to see the day when people laughed at these shows as a mockery of convention and rigid genre-making boundaries, but many of those people who watch these shows are still bound to these very things that postmodernism would shun. Is the joke on the convention or the person? I am sure most would respond more frequently with the latter (but I would hope that this could be demonstrated incorrect). These shows adhere to almost every other aspect of convention in television (for their respective budgets) with lighting, conventionally attractive people, editing, and the like. So it is an elaborate production, just to be mean?

I, for one think that as feminists, we could analyze these components of the media. I know that I get sick of reading feminist media analysis that focuses specifically on over-hashed issues like, "Women on T.V. Look Too Much Alike" or "Why Aren't Plus Size Women Represented More?" "Every One on T.V. is White" (Bitch Magazine I am looking in your direction). We should start looking at why this is happening in these types of articles instead of blaming "the patriarchy" and the fashion industry. Of course these areas of analysis are important and deserve attention, but as targets, they are actually becoming shields from larger issues linked to feminism in entertainment. Feminism is about power and inequality when viewed in the simplest terms. Feminist media analysis could also draw on this influx of shows based on competition designed to acquire profit from exploiting weakness based around designated and constructed conventions of what is considered "talent." More energy should be focused on processes that are linked to these issues, rather than the fact that the issues exist. Maybe the popularity of shows so rooted in picking on people are linked to the oppression of groups, say, perhaps, in the real world. Perhaps it is the interest of the viewer influencing the programming and not the other way around as many articles might suggest (I am still looking at you Bitch magazine).
A good friend of mine (I will spare the name because you know who you are) once told me about a classmate in a Women's and Gender Studies course that blamed Girls Gone Wild for the exploitation of women. She even went as far as to claim that the women in the video we unaware that they were "victimized" (*Sidenote: Apparently, she bought the DVD. So she was financially supporting something she felt victimized women to make this very point? Excellent logic!) I understand, and I hope I have this correct, she blamed patriarchy. Patriarchy is to blame for drunk girls flashing a camera?
Feminist media analysis is important and interesting, which is precisely why we should stop looking to the specific examples of hyper- sexualized, thin women, and start looking down other avenues in popular culture that provide insight into systemic causes for these very things that cause such outrage over representations of women in the media. We should start looking to things that feminists and non-feminists alike can understand (like the prevalence of bullying on competitive shows). It may be shamelessly idealistic, but I would hope that this could lead to a greater understanding of the why that causes certain views of women not only in entertainment, but in that nagging real world that exposes itself every now and then. We could spread our message of equality to a greater audience, maybe even the one who watches the 700 Club.

Banal Musings

2006-09-15T13:49:00.000-07:00

Hello! I have been terrible about updating my blog! This is becoming a pattern in all of my posts.

This week has been crazy! We got the Brady Project off the ground. I thought that the response was going to be different, but I suppose that is the beauty of human response. The only problem that I have had with comments/responses, is people don't really seem to be reading the post in its entirety. Some feel that we didn't establish a "strong enough case" that the building name should change. Well, we are doing this over a period of a month. If we built the whole case in one entire post, people would certainly not read it (as demonstrated with the first one). Further, I am really not interested in naysayers' input, we have enough to do as it is. Anyhow, we have gotten a shitload of local press coverage. We were interviewed for KBIA last week, Patrick was on KOMU last night, and a story will appear in the Missourian next week (we were told that it will be a biggun' with pictures!). I am very shocked at how fast things are moving.

Moving on to things unrelated...

When I came into work yesterday, I had to climb over large squares of something covered by black plastic. When I asked what it was, Jeremy replied, "Oh yeah, they are moving asbestos from that closet.
' It was in the hall for two days! Thanks for the potential illness Mizzou! Oh well, maybe this University will make me rich after all.

Last night, I went to the A and C with Patrick, Erin, and Becky! Megan showed up later...She was fresh from her job selling kangaroo meat to hobos in Flat Branch Park. We had a pretty good time...Although that place is not the same without the karaoke. I ended up joining CoMo's local burlesque troop. We are going to work on a show to raise money for the Center Project. Finally, a chance to wear pasties...for a good cause!

Finally, I want to give a shout out to fellow blogger Sarah Smile! Now update your blog.

-I find it odd that Blogger's spell check doesn't recognize the word "blog."

The hirsute man waxes his legs

2006-09-06T20:40:00.000-07:00

This week my impending graduation has been sitting on my shoulders like Dom DeLuise (ZING!). Goodbye easy livin' hello stressed poor eating habits living. I am having major freak-outs that I am not going to get into a good graduate program. I had a dream that I was rejected from all of my choices, moved to Jefferson City, got married, and had children. When I awoke, I was covered in sweat. This GRE is going to be the death of me!

"There's never enough time. I'll never get into Stanford. I'm so excited, I'm so excited..." (You know the rest)

All the cameras comin' out for a public affair...

2006-08-29T15:26:00.000-07:00

It is Tuesday, so I suppose I should blog about my most excellent weekend. Friday night I watched The Order with Erin, Patrick, and Andrew. Then we went to a fine box social at fellow blogger Ben's house, where we met up with Ryan, Jodie, and Katy. Indeed! It will be the box social that all will speak of for weeks to come!

I got up pretty early on Saturday morning. Did someone say steals? It was a whole day of them. Andrew and I went to various vintage stores and flea markets, where we found some great things for my house. If you are in the neighborhood, you should stop by and see my newly decorated home. I also found the gayest bag ever at Maude Vintage. It looks like somebody made it out of an old pride flag. Andrew found a pink members only jacket! Steals!

That night Erin, Patrick, Andrew, Ryan, Katy, Ben and I all went to see the new Matthew Barney project, Drawing Restraint 9. My stomach was full of the Chuck Shaw and garlic/ricotta mashed potatoes Katy brought. Thanks lady! The film was rather impressive. Some of the scenes were slow, but the climax was beautiful. It involved vaseline, whale fins, and the arctic. The soundtrack was amazing as well. Bjork's music was the perfect complement to the film. Two bottles of chardonnay (don't worry, it was shared) later, it was time for bed.

Sunday morning, I went to breakfast at Ernie's with Jodie and Katy. We had the hottest waitress! We sat down, and who shows up? Why it was Patrick, Jenny, Meghan, and Trent. They joined our table. Good times! The french toast: off tha chain.

Yesterday, I found out I got the McNair Scholars assistant position. Loves it! Apparently a lot of people applied. I was a bit surprised since I don't usually get jobs that I want. I start Thursday. So excited! I think it is going to be a really great opportunity.

I am off to knitting with Katy at the Artisan.

School's back in suckas!

2006-08-24T20:25:00.000-07:00

I guess I haven't been blogging like gangbuster's lately. I have no excuse except that I was far too absorbed in easy livin'. Since school has started, my reign of hanging out around CoMo has ended. Here are the highlights since we last spoke (by we I mean the blogging community and by blogging community I mean the five people who read this and by five people who read this I mean my baby's daddy, Ryan, who owes me child support money).

-I was in the Pro Choice/Pro Fashion Show. I walked for Andrew Shirk's line. That guy is so fucking talented! He knows fashion and certainly doesn't belong in the midwest.

-I finally got around to hanging pictures in my house. It looks much less like a hobo-camp in here.

-I got a dog from the Humane Society. He is a Foxhound. I named him Salvatore Ferragamo after one of my favorite designers, but please call him Ferragamo. Ben suggested that I put pictures of him on my blog/social networking sites, but alas, I cannot find my camera's USB cable. I need to remember to get one.

-Last year at Mizzou baby! Tons of WGST courses!

Amazing!

2006-08-07T17:16:00.000-07:00

I cannot stop listening to George Michael's "Amazing." Did that sound really gay? Good! Download it. It is really catchy, I swear.

In other news: I am ready for summer to be over. I know I was in love with it in a previous post, but I think we are in a trial separation phase. Hopefully, I get the kids in the custody agreement.

Local blogger (ME) drinks too much coffee at local hang out (the Artisan).

2006-08-03T22:17:00.000-07:00

I should be asleep, but I am watching a VH1 Countdown about cheesy love songs (god I am lame) and feeling like I need to ramble on my blog for awhile. My friend Clay stopped by earlier. It was so good to see him. I hadn't seen him in over three years. Looking at him and talking to him reminded me of what I was like before Kenna. I guess that was the last time I saw him.

This being single thing is really odd to me. As I thought about it the other day, I realized that this is the longest I have ever been single. Do I like it? I am ambivalent, or maybe I am just adjusting. *Sigh* I certainly don't have an incessant need to find somebody, but I don't want to become the crazy old lady by the railroad tracks, either. You know, the one will all of the stray cats and stacks of old newspapers? Damn this VH1 Countdown.

My head is empty again. Time to sleep.

You might just live the good life yet...

2006-08-03T16:33:00.000-07:00

I am sitting at the Cherry Street Artisan waiting for Megan to meet me so that we can work on the new blog. God I hate waiting for people! (Note: She can't help it...something about a traffic jam). Anyhow, when I got here, two of my favorite blogging friends were here, Katy and Julia.

HEADLINE: Sexy Local Bloggers Meet to discuss mundane crap!

Anyhow, I don't really have much in my head right now, which is kind of unusual...so I am going to make a list of the first things that come to mind:

1. Mr. Belvedere
2.Pudding Pops (why can't I find them in the store anymore?)
3. Nerd Ropes
4.Glade Plug-Ins
5. The movie the Wizard starring Fred Savage
6. John Hardy (sp?) because he is sitting across the room and I finally learned he is, in fact, not Julia's Vaio.
7. My dog Jacques
8. Why are frumpy girls coupled? (yeah that one is kind of mean...)
9. The Cameo song "Word Up"
10. Amsterdam
11. Bomb Pops
12. The news depresses me
13. I am ready for summer to be over...my brain has taken a vacation

LYLAS! XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

If this shit is greenlighted, what the fuck do networks redlight?

2006-07-27T22:33:00.000-07:00

Julia, Jodie, Sarah, and I are sitting in my living room watching, perhaps, what is one of the most nugatory shows on television. Seriously! Who Wants to Be a Superhero? on Sci-Fi has signaled that we are in the midst of the end times. It is a reality show with Stan Lee (yes the Spiderman Stan Lee). The contestants dress in costumes fashioned after superheroes of their own creation. Most of the contestants are in the 30+ age bracket, and Stan Lee gives them missions they must complete in full costume around a city (like saving a child pretending to be lost...thank god they use a white girl so that people are concerned).

BONUS: The man who bears a resemblance to Kano from Mortal Kombat: Deadly Alliance and refers to himself as a "mortal."

DOUBLE BONUS: Their residence for the duration of the show is called "The Lair."

Why does summer TV hate me?

A List of Ideas

2006-07-26T13:42:00.000-07:00

Here is a list of ideas that I am having right now:

-I am in love with the summer so much, that I want to marry it, but I realize that I can't because clearly the summer is a homosexual.

-I need to get started on the Reptile Rapture trilogy before it is stolen by Jerry Bruckheimer.

-I should do something about that stale Nerd Rope from the Green Meadows gas station.

-I eat like a child.

-Sometimes I wonder why I fit in best with gay men.

-This post is banal.

-Why is Lance Bass coming out news now?

-What the hell is wrong with Ann Coulter?

Horticultural Nostalgia

2006-07-23T21:45:00.000-07:00

I am currently reading archived "Dykes to Watch Out For," comic strips. This is what I did when I had down time at the Resource Center (except this was before the internet archive so I only saw what was in the books of strips. Thank you intranets). I am not a big comic person, although I do have a few that I enjoy, but I love this strip. I always forget about it and so the return is always sweet. I love Alison Bechdel's observations and characterizations of queer life. It is interesting to see how the comic has transformed with "the GLBT movement" (yes, I know this is a contentious term, but I am using it for simplicity's sake) to become one of the most hilarious and accurate records of how this movement has progressed. The beginning strips deal almost exclusively with "lesbian" issues, but as our communities have expanded, become more diverse, and had a multitude of issues intermal and external to the "community" in the national spotlight, Bechdel has extended her scope to include characters who are not "dykes" in the strictest definition of the term. It has become less homo/hetero centered and more all-inclusively queer. However, all of these characters certainly have dyke sensibilites in some capacity. When I read it, I always get the fluttering feeling I used to have when I first met lesbians as teenager; the excitement of meeting people who seemed to be fully realized versions of what was then, to me, only a feeling. I can connect many of the characters in this strip to myself and a lot of the dykes I met when I was sixteen. The critique of current events in each strip also adds to this nostalgiac feeling, especially, during the halcyon Clinton years.

Thank you, Alison Bechdel, for showing us that we can have an activist spirit and still have a sense of humor about it.

1980's vs 1940's: The Final Showdown

2006-07-18T14:28:00.000-07:00

This Sunday marked the return of my concert-going. I went to the Peaches show at the Grenada in Lawrence. This show was ON FIRE! She perfomed a lot of stuff from the new Impeach My Bush album AND had some burlesque dancers wearing nothing but star pasties on stage with her. God she made pasties seem hot! Julia and I were going to stand on the upper-level, but the music started and we just couldn't contain our need to dance. We jumped the rail and got into the pit of sweaty people (there was no air conditioning in the Grenada and it was the hottest day of the year so far). I ended up meeting a woman in the crowd and we ended up dancing through the whole concert....and....my shirt was so soaked that I had to borrow one from Andrew for the trip back to CoMo. Anyhow, it was a great show and I highly recommend seeing Peaches live if you are ever fortunate enough.

Last night Julia and I watched the epic film Xanadu. It might be the most ridiculous movie I have seen yet (and those of you who know me understand that I have a high ridiculousness threshhold). Here is a description of the plot from the movie box: "Xanadu is a look at the future and a loving remembrance of the way things were in the heyday of Hollywood....Olivia Newton-John, the screen's newest love goddess, will dazzle your senses with her luminous beauty and beautiful voice. She and Gene Kelly star in this dazzling musical fantasy. The 40's meet the 80's in XANADU, a very special love story and the first lavish, old-fashioned musical to utilize today's music" That's right: GENE FUCKING KELLY IS IN THIS MOVIE! This movie inspired another summer brainstorm of an idea: XANADU themed skating party!

Who's with me?

LYLAS!

2006-07-10T11:02:00.000-07:00

Ye Olde Towne Kryer has been updated! Now on to more pressing issues. I think I have the greatest idea for a bitchin' back tattoo. It would be a castle with a huge drawbridge. On top of that castle would sit a big ass dragon with flames. EVIL FLAMES! He would resemble King Koopa from Super Mario Bros. and at the top: the words "King of the Castle!"

It's Friday and I'm ready to sang pick up my girls and hit the party scene...

2006-06-30T16:42:00.000-07:00

Hi... are you hungry? Can I get you anything to drink? Please make yourself at home!
Last night was like second semester of sophmore year, yet there was nobody in the demographic present. I helped a friend of mine move and let me tell you, there is nothing like drinking PBR in the back of a U-Haul. Thank you random friends for making work fun.

We found a dog. A German Shepard puppy (I think). Megan took him/her to her house...and I believe it led to some sort of adventure with a crazy animal lady. She can't keep him/her though. Apparently, the dog might be some sort of hermaphrodite.

Today I unpacked several boxes of clothes and toiletries. I realized I have too many fucking clothes...but I love them all...they are my babies...my precious babies.

Tonite Michael is coming to PARTY! It is his birthday...Happy Birthday Bonesmoker....no he really is a bonesmoker so it's okay.

"I'm still a titty baby."

My mind is a dish of melted ice cream...delicious Rocky Road

2006-06-27T12:59:00.000-07:00

I just got out of class and I have to say that I will be pleased when it is over! I think I was spoiled in my Sociology classes with Neitz! Anyhow, I am amazed at how unaware many of the people in the class are of their status in the race and class hierarchy. So many of the comments today revolved around the assumption that everyone has the chance to go to college and everyone is expected to follow the "middle class" path. It made me think about the term "white supremacy." Too often we equate white supremacy with the archetypal Klansmen (more info on the Klan)
Is it not white supremacy to project your positions of race and class (if you are a white person, of course...the term would change across racial boundaries) onto another?

On a completely different topic...

I can finally share with you, audience of the delicious I'm blogging! Like Gangbusters!, the craziest ass drama that I have EVER experienced. I was in a relationship with an older woman of means for three years. The relationship was a nightmare (I will spare you the esoteric details). I left the house and we had arrangements for me to get my belongings out of the house...but she would never follow through. I tried for about a month and one day the sheriff came to my door. They gave me a paper saying that my ex had filed a no-communication order (called an ex-parte). I got to read the claims that she made against me in the order and it was fucking crazy (my friends were amazed). These things are typically for women who are in physical danger. She claimed that I had a history of property destruction...not at all true...and that she was physically afraid of me. Nevermind the fact that she is twice my size (I weigh 110 lbs!) and I told her not to contact me unless it was pertaining to my belongings. I had to go to court. When I was there I discovered that she had an attorney and AN ADVOCATE FROM THE WOMEN'S SHELTER! I had three friends with me, two that witnessed her violent outbursts and generally crazy behavior during the relationship. To move the narrative ahead, the judge called it a "bunch of yapping" and he set a date for me to get my belongings (only the agreed upon ones. My dog, furniture, and turntables were excluded). We were ordered to return to court after that day.
Fast forward to one week before the final court date. My friend, Patrick, and I are at the Gay Pride Dance (Atomic Dance Party to be exact; which was hilarious) at the Blue Note. My ex was there. I ignored her and had an AWESOME evening (I danced like a fucking party robot). Later, Patrick and I were standing in the lobby chatting and my ex came up behind me, GRABBED MY ASS, and said hello. IN FRONT OF PEOPLE! Patrick and I looked at one another and just pretended it didn't happen.
I called my attorney the following week and told her about it. We took Patrick to court to testify. When we got there, we were called up to the bench and the judge told us to work it out. The attorneys discussed and basically convinced her to dismiss because she was going to look bad. Why would you grab somebody that you were afraid of's ass?
...but, I don't think that this whole thing was about winning; although, it was nice to have my name cleared. Nobody won. I still have to sue her in court to get my dog back, the women's shelter was abused, and it is sad to me that my ex would do something like this to herself.
In between court dates, I did copious reading about false abuse allegations. I found that people use ex-parte orders in divorce cases to gain leverage for property and child custody disputes. So, basically, she abused court resources and spent stupid money to try to keep my belongings from me. Also, what I find most disturbing is that most of the resources with information about false allegations blame feminism for the way that the system works; that women are to blame for some "biased legal system." I will be the first to dispute this. The services provided to abused women are much need and underfunded. If there is any bias in the legal system, it is a male one (see the logic of Catherine MacKinnon). Domestic abuse laws are not perfect, after all, they are relatively new. In my experience, the outcome taught me that the system does work in most cases. At first is was a bit challenging to deal with somebody making attacks on my character; I am a feminist so obviously any form of abuse makes my stomach turn. The second time I went to court, I saw a case that really bothered me (I will spare the details out of respect for the victim). In that instance the network of social and legal services really worked together to help somebody who was in serious danger because of an ex-lover. Yes, there are false allegations of abuse, but in my instance, they were filterered through the system. Call me shamelessly idealistic, but I do have faith in the justice system. If there are 100 false allegations and one that is true, it is worth it to keep that one person from harm.

Friday Nite!

2006-06-19T11:06:00.000-07:00

On friday I went with Patrick to Missie B's in Kansas City. The following is a list of highlights from the evening:

-Large mulleted lesbian in a prison orange shirt humping a drag queen. She was too large to be pryed off, so security had to help.

-A gay man straight out of George Chauncey's Gay New York. He had the velvet touch of a dandy fop.

-Shirtless men dancing for dollar billz (double check).

-Strange room complete with mist and "French Quarter" style decor with soft porn music playing. This room was occupied by 80's sitcom character-looking men.

-This one is longer: Last summer this guy pretended to be deaf to impress my best friend Michael (I know, genius plan, right). He came up to him at the bar so I told the guy that Patrick was his boyfriend (not true, but necessary). The random then stormed away and upon his return, he introduced us to some forty-year old, strung out woman wearing a pink prom dress. He said, "Meet my girlfriend." Then he was "all up on" the woman for the rest of the night. (Probably one of the most bizarre things that I have seen).

-Random lesbians blatantly checking me out. Curiously, not one of them caught my attention.

And that friends is my judgemental rant about the sketchy gay bar.

Faggotron 3000 Ya'll

2006-06-13T19:24:00.000-07:00

Ah the beginning of summer school...I am taking a class about the family and already my contempt for the penis has been renewed. Basically, we broke into small groups to talk about definitions of the family (one of my academic interests). The conversation was essentially like this:

Me: "I really think that notions of a family are changing with the growing visibility of same-sex couples"

Ignorant homophobe: "Yeah I have a lot of lesbian friends but I don't think that they are a family unless one is like the man and one is like the woman"

Also one guy referred to feminists as "man-hating." I guess it doesn't help that I am one of two feminists in the class...and it is a class predominantly comprised of women, and I am pretty sure that I am the token horticultural lady. Enough rants about school though...much of this is to be expected in public higher ed.

Look Chris Harper, I updated my blog!

2006-06-02T22:26:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends and colleagues,

Please take note that I will be bringing back the word "ssssmoookin'" You know, as in from the movie The Mask. For example: "Hey everyone I had a great weekend it sure was ssssmookin!" Let the obnoxiousness begin!

Sincerely,
Erin

Happy Mother's Day Bonesmokers

2006-05-14T18:12:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to Kansas City. Yes, family time. I got to hear my aunt talk about her belief in the accuracy of psychics. In a nutshell: "I like that one on the Sci-Fi Channel. Those people try to tell her she's wrong, but she just turns around and tells them things about themselves that no one could know." I have resigned myself to the fact that any persuasion toward a reasonable explanation would be futile.

Today, I went to lunch with Whites. She is great. We went to the new and improved Bangkok Gardens...delicious. We talked about women in higher education and how difficult it can be. Although she is encouraging, it was discouraging to hear how women kind of get the shaft. She was alarmed by former students not pursuing master's degrees, perhaps, because of the pressure that many don't feel to continue their educations when compared to men. I think she may have given me the best advice about womanhood and the professional world that I have ever received: "You can either work and compete with all of the women or you can run with the men, be a complete pig, and deny your womanhood." Brilliant!

I'm a Wheel Watcher

2006-05-04T15:20:00.000-07:00

What is wrong with me? I have a 15-20 page paper due tomorrow, yet I am writing letters to Pat Sajak instead. BTW:Wheel Watchers Facebook Club get on this. This will be on air if we act now! Here it is:

Dear Mr. Pat Sajak Sir,
First of all, I love the Wheel. I have been a faithful watcher since 84.' Thus far I have been pleased with your performance. I am writing to request a puzzle (well ,a speed puzzle, actually). I would like to see the words : DELICIOUS TAQUITOS on my television screen. Thank you.
Care to you and yours
Erin Kennedy
Wheel Watchers Facebook Club Officer

Nancy Grace Summer Goal

2006-05-03T09:23:00.000-07:00

My goal for summer 2006, you ask? Get a call into Nancy Grace's show on CNN. When the call is screened, I will tell them that I would like to know when Natalie Holloway's killer will be found. Look out though! When I get on the air, there will be no stopping me. "Uh yes Ms. Grace, when will you start reporting the real news?" or "How can I bring media attention to my string of frivolous lawsuits?" I suppose I will have to lie and say that I am from rural Kentucky or whatever too.

"My Dog is Bitchin" (thanks Laura)

2006-05-01T17:49:00.000-07:00

So I have to say that I am totally crazy for dogs. My dog is incredibly awesome. Don't believe me? Here is the proof.

Yeah, that's what I thought!

Gaywads unite!

2006-05-01T16:09:00.000-07:00

Ben sent this article on Slate to me. Gay marriage could destroy the traditional family...And this is a bad thing?Oh yeah, and this article is ridiculous, so read at your own risk.

WTF?

2006-04-30T18:45:00.000-07:00

This was on the Simpsons tonight. That's what I'm talkin' 'bout!

Is my daddy crazy?

2006-04-30T18:28:00.000-07:00

So I am watching the wives with Julia and Ryan, and I decided to write a crazy complaint letter to Pepperidge Farms about one of their products. Here it is:

To whom it may concern:

On Sunday evening, I was sitting down to enjoy some of your delicious Seville Triple Chocolate Distinctive Cookies (you know, the ones from the new Chocolate Delight line) and the new episode of Desperate Housewives. You should see Felicity Huffman's new do! Anyhow upon opening the package of these scrumptious cookies, a struggle ensued .You can imagine my surprise that a Pepperidge Farms product turned out to give me any difficulty. The cookies are too large for the packaging causing the consumer to rip the packaging when accessing them. Make no mistake about it, I am not suggesting that you shrink the size of the cookie. Far from it! Maybe putting the cookies in packaging like your delightful Chocolate Chunk or Tahoe Cookies could alleviate this problem.

Thank You,
Erin Kennedy

Girls...GOOD AT MATH?

2006-04-30T12:47:00.000-07:00

Last night was hilarious! I didn't go out (not too shocking when the only gay bar in town is in a strip mall), but I had a fabulous time relaxing with my homies. The Best of TV Funhouse was on SNL and it was great. (Sidenote: Dear KOMU, Please get your shit together when it comes to broadcasts from the network. Stop cutting off portions of your programming. Thanks.)

I ended up taking Tickle quizzes afterward (I know, I am always the last to catch on to these things in the Intranets). I took three. The first one said that I had great verbal abilities. The second told me that I could communicate with animals. The third was perhaps the most surprising, it told me that I was the most intelligent in logic math. I have never had strong inclinations to take a lot of math classes in college and in high school I hated the ones that I had to take. Then it really made me think about all of the issues in education (at least when I was in the public educational system) about gender bias in math and the sciences. All of my high school math teachers were sports coaches and maybe, just maybe, my dislike of math is connected with my abhorration of most sports. Doubtful, but still an interesting thought. The funny thing is...is that when I started taking courses in Statistics, I realized that I was quite good at it. It was a strange adjustment to make after usually being at the bottom in math. I was never one of the "high achievers" anyhow. Test-wise, I was , but grade-wise, I was kind of a fuck up. Certainly, I don't blame math teachers on my lack of interest in math, but perhaps if their approach to teaching math was different, maybe many students (especially women) could learn to appreciate it more. Is it really acceptable that many women (and I am speculating based on conversations with others) realize that math is one of their intellectual interests so late in their educational processes? I guess I could ask that education grad student in my African lit. class. Oh wait! She thought that the country of Nigeria was in the country of South Africa. In defense of education people, there are some really smart people who go into teaching. Looking at many of the people who are going to teach high school now...my experience in public education suddenly makes sense.
Honestly, I am considering a career in higher education (provided they will take me) but that is because I have (a probably unhealthy) obsession with Sociology (the theoretical frameworks of Dorothy Smith to be exact) and I like to push it on everyone. I am like a drug pusher, but for Sociology.

A Picture of Dorian Gray

2006-04-29T09:03:00.001-07:00

Greetings! Last night was my birthday jamboree. Thank you to everyone who made it a smashing evening. Dinner at Trattoria was fabulous!

Oh fuck, it's getting close to finals week. I have so much shit due before then...I will probably be holed up for the next few weeks.

I got a new cell phone, finally, after breaking my old one three times. This time there was no fixing it which it good because I hated that phone. The lady at the cell phone place did some kind of demonstration that proved that it will be pretty hard to break this one, but we will see if it can stand up. The manager of the cell phone place made some hilarious but well intentioned comments. In a nutshell, he told Julia and I that we probably thought we were nerds because we wore glasses, but we shouldn't think that because we are beautiful girls. This would be the second time within a two day period that an older gentleman has commented on my appearance. The first being in the context of a job interview. This one is a bit more inappropriate.
First he asked me why I like Sociology. Then he proceeded to tell me that there was no money in that and I should be a nurse. After that he told me that I was an attractive young lady. All I could think was What the fuck, is this 1975? AND THEN he would not stop talking about his office supplies cabinent. Needless to say I won't be taking that job! And so the search continues.

Question: Who wears short shorts?

Check it

2006-04-26T20:31:00.000-07:00

I watched this tonight... and homosexuals are destroying the culture?

Why are we encouraging this?

I'm gonna sit at the welcome table....

2006-04-24T08:45:00.000-07:00

Hello! Nice to meet you. I am going to let you in on a little secret. Well...it's not really a secret, but seeing as how we just met: yes, I, Erin Kennedy author of "I'm blogging! Like Gangbusters!" am a lesbian. I don't really prefer that label, but I use it mainly because it is the term that best describes a certain component of me. Now that you all know the "shockin truth" (cue R. Kelly's epic Trapped in the Closet) you are probably asking yourselves, "What insights does she have into the gay community?" Good question! All of this Pride Month razza-ma-tazz has got me thinking. Why do I not have lesbian friends? Aside from the fact that I dislike Ani DiFranco and the scent of patchouli, I never meet other lesbians who share my interests. I guess I am not particularly interesting by comparison to others. For starters, I am white, middle class, and I move through the "mainstream" culture with relative ease. I like clothes (from stores), I have career aspirations that don't involve the words "community activist" or "free-gan," and I spend an ample amount of time in the bathroom tending to my hair and makeup. I have tons of straight and bisexual friends who are some of the best anyone could ever have, and I am up to my neck in gay men. What, then, is it about me that prevents me from finding and maintaining friendships with other lesbians? Is it as simple as changing my status on the Facebook?

Perhaps I am lying in my "I refuse to unite around a specifically constructed identity" bed that I made. Or maybe it is because I am not a huge fan of gay marriage. Make no mistake, I will support and defend any queer person's right to marry, but the whole hetero model is not really for me. Too bad the state grants benefits based on that model. Am I a queer contrarian? Hopefully I am not turning into the lady Andrew Sullivan.

This is from one of my classes- "I think Margaret Sanger was into eugenics for the right reasons"

Ramble On

2006-04-23T12:54:00.000-07:00

So it is Sunday and I am supposed to be working on two different papers, but what am I doing instead? I am downloading music from iTunes. I can't stop listening to Kate Bush (am I turning into a whiny teenager again?) The big Earth Day jamboree is today, but I don' t think I can justify going. I am so ready for this semester to be over (except my readings course, that shit is fun). I guess I am getting senioritis or the clap, the symptoms are often confused.

Jodie and I are moving into the house on West Blvd soon. We are having a housewarming party, but I am not sure of the date, so I will keep you all posted.

The Natalie Portman SNL was on last night. It was one of the best of the season so far, especially the rap. I hope they get rid of that "nooney" skit really soon because it is fucking terrible.

I saw Silent Hill over the weekend. I had such expectations for the movie, and it was a major disappointment. Not to mention there was a mild lesbian theme that was crushed by what sort of looked like a hate crime. The audience, however, was amusing. Mortal Kombat is still the best film based on a video game. I highly recommend acquiring the soundtrack!

Well that was most of my weekend. Oh yeah, shout out Bryan Clinton for being a smooth motherfucker.

America's Next Top Girl-tard

2006-04-17T21:00:00.000-07:00

So it finally dawned on me! Tyra Banks is a robot. I don't mean this in the "she is a ridiculously made-up fembot." This woman is an honest to god robot. Watch her show on Oxygen. I dare you- for at least fifteen minutes. The way her side of the conversation is so disconnected from what is actually happening, it is as though she has a limited memory that contains certain cliches or personal anecdotes. She gave makeovers, not counseling, to domestic violence victims! Also watch her strange eye contact and stilted movements. All of this can only add up to one thing, she is an effing robot (or pod person at the very least).

Hello motherfucker it's nice to meet ya
I drop delicious beats like pepperoni pizza

Want to waste some time?

2006-04-17T08:34:00.000-07:00

*TELL ME ABOUT YOURSELF - The Survey*
Name:	Erin Kennedy
Birthday:	04/28/1982
Birthplace:	Shreveport, LA
Current Location:	Columbia, MO
Eye Color:	Green
Hair Color:	light brown
Height:	5'8
Right Handed or Left Handed:	Left
Your Heritage:	German/Irish
The Shoes You Wore Today:	Turquoise Pumas
Your Weakness:	hemlock
Your Fears:	hemlock
Your Perfect Pizza:	Veggie
Goal You Would Like To Achieve This Year:	graduate Mizzou
Your Most Overused Phrase On an instant messenger:	LOL!
Thoughts First Waking Up:	Oh shit I have a Spanish test today
Your Best Physical Feature:	my eyes
Your Bedtime:	1:00 am
Your Most Missed Memory:	driving on country roads with Michael
Pepsi or Coke:	Pepsi
MacDonalds or Burger King:	McDonalds
Single or Group Dates:	Depends
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea:	Lipton
Chocolate or Vanilla:	Chocolate
Cappuccino or Coffee:	Depends
Do you Smoke:	yes
Do you Swear:	of course
Do you Sing:	in the car
Do you Shower Daily:	yes
Have you Been in Love:	yes
Do you want to go to College:	already been
Do you want to get Married:	not really
Do you belive in yourself:	sometimes
Do you get Motion Sickness:	yes
Do you think you are Attractive:	depends
Are you a Health Freak:	no
Do you like Thunderstorms:	yes
Do you play an Instrument:	yes
In the past month have you Drank Alcohol:	yes
In the past month have you Smoked:	yes
In the past month have you been on Drugs:	yes
In the past month have you gone on a Date:	yes
In the past month have you gone to a Mall:	yes
In the past month have you eaten a box of Oreos:	no
In the past month have you eaten Sushi:	yes
In the past month have you been on Stage:	no
In the past month have you been Dumped:	no
In the past month have you gone Skinny Dipping:	no
In the past month have you Stolen Anything:	no
Ever been Drunk:	yes
Ever been called a Tease:	yes
Ever been Beaten up:	yes
Ever Shoplifted:	yes
How do you want to Die:	In my sleep and beautifully
What do you want to be when you Grow Up:	a professor
What country would you most like to Visit:	Japan
*In a Boy...*
Favourite Eye Color:	Green
Favourite Hair Color:	dark
Short or Long Hair:	shaggy
Height:	5'9
Weight:	118
Best Clothing Style:	skin tight
Number of Drugs I have taken:	6?
Number of CDs I own:	300
Number of Piercings:	2
Number of Tattoos:	0
Number of things in my Past I Regret:	3
CREATE YOUR OWN! - or - GET PAID TO TAKE SURVEYS!

Butterfly Tears

2006-04-16T16:48:00.000-07:00

Last night I listened to Terence Trent D'Arby and I highly recommend that everyone who reads this download (legally, of course) "Wishing Well." That song is amazing, especially when the Casio kicks in. The memories came flooding back!

I recently read the book Sexing the Body. Anne Fausto Sterling is a fucking genius! I want to have her babies...(just kidding, I don't find her all that attractive). The whole thing is about intersex people and how they expose our ridiculous gender/sex system. In your face heterosexual patriarchy! I would write more but the Simpsons are on.

Check ya later, Jesus

The day is finally here...

2006-04-13T19:41:00.000-07:00

Dear Friends and Sworn Mortal Enemies,

You can finally stop hassling me about starting a blog, for the day has finally come. Prepare to have your minds blown! Just so you know what I am about, here is something I wrote awhile back. Enjoy!

To whom it may concern:

It has come to my attention that a there is a great phenonmenon that goes by the name of global warming. This trend is a foe of the fur industry. Did you know that fine fur sales have decreased twenty percent in the past fifteen years? I say that this is no coincidence but in fact there is some correlation between the increase in so-called "global warming" and the decline in fur sales. I am sure your reaction is one of outrage. Your first question is probably "what action can I take to solve this ever growing societal problem?" Can there really be a solution? Well, absolutely! Ignore the problem. Pretend global warming is not occurring! Wear beautiful furs no matter what the weather or occasion: summer weddings, a sunny day in Belize, or how about the local airshow? In the latter instance you can show your support for the troops and fur. I am sure you have heard all of the arguments from liberal whackos from PETA. "Fur is cruel!" "Fur is unnecessary!" This is what they shout from their protest rallies, abortion clinics and secret homosexual hash bars. Rubbish I say, absolute rubish. I guess these so called "patriots" don't support the fur trapper and the interests of the common working man. We should rise against this liberal (or rather LIEberal) propaganda machine to enjoy our god given right to wear beautiful furs. We can obviously attribute the decline in fur sales to the invention of global warming and the liberal left-wing media. Get with the program! There is no such thing as global warming, so please go and enjoy your furs and the weather!